Hi Lily! I'm new to the site and hope this post works lol. My bf had to go to jail and then rehab and just like u, I just went for my first visit and FULL pink cheeks and no pin dot pupils....looked so healthy like I've never seen before! We have no kids but want a future! He's an addict who was doing oxys just so ya know. I left visit so excited as well and had a future in my head driving home but just like u, now Itry to not map it all out cuz all of it could blow up. Right now I'm so afraid he's using in jail and the part that kills me is ill never know!!! How do feel good about that? Just thought id share a similar story but Ilove my guy more than anyone and hope it works out...good luck!!