I have wasted a lot of breath talking to my AS and I think that all I have accomplished is making him feel worse about himself...which makes him use drugs to mask the pain. I believe talking about it only compounds the problem. He knows very clearly that he has a problem -- he deals with the consequences daily. And so does your ex. Consequences speak louder than any words ever could. Losing you is pretty loud...and is quite enough to make your point. Your silence is even louder.