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Old 03-27-2013, 12:19 PM
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jayho78
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: North Canton, Ohio
Posts: 4
I'm ready to get sober, but I need help!

So this is my first post here. I'm not even sure what to say or where to start. I'm 34, married, and 2 kids (15 and 10). I've been drinking since my early teen years. When I turned 21, my drinking got worse and I started binging bad! That's pretty much how it's been since then. The only time I haven't drank every weekend since 21 was when I was pregnant. I drink, on average, 1-2 days a week, but I've done it up to 4 times in a week (rarely though). My biggest issue is the quantity. I've started drinking at 1 or 2 in the afternoon and keep going all day and night until I black out. My husband tells me I become another person. I cry for no reason, get angry out of nowhere, etc. I'm tired of this lifestyle. My mother is a "functioning" alcoholic (that's what she calls it) and her father died of cirrhosis at 55. I'm so scared I'm following in both of their footsteps. What has kept me from stopping is the fear that I will never have a good time or be a fun person. When I don't drink, I tend to be quiet and serious and a little intense. When I drink I feel free, that is until the next morning when I'm trying to piece the previous night together and I feel so ashamed that I got so out of hand. It's a sick cycle that has gone on way too long. I'd love to go to a support group, but I'm not religious. I need help and guidance.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
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