Originally Posted by freshstart57

SoberKnitter, you have grasped the beauty and simplicity of the essence of AVRT beautifully. - 'Knowing it is not me is so powerful'. That is the nut of it right there. You are also hitting the bullseye in that you are taking control here, and asserting your ability to make these important decisions.

Once you have arrived at this place, I think it is perfectly reasonable to react to the AV with amusement, and with scorn and derision. - 'Is that the best you've got? Is that all you can do?' I like to figuratively laugh and point, and some of the humor is rueful, considering the lies I listened to and the excuses I accepted for years. Just to listen to my AV. Sheesh!

The AV will never completely disappear, but that is OK because we no longer need to pay attention to it, or to even acknowledge it beyond the simple recognition of it and its nature. That's it. AV is only anxiety producing when it can influence our actions, and once that influence is no longer accepted, the anxiety of not drinking disappears.

As for the concept of never, that is where the rubber meets the road, and also where the final acceptance and ultimate relief is provided. Never drinking also means never feeling the shame, the guilt, lies and deception, the depression and anxiety, and all the rest of the cr@p that goes with active addiction. Never drink again? Absolutely. I am done.

Learning to recognize AV in others is an important tool and helps with the recognition of AV in ourselves - the same muscles are involved. It is easy to find AV in the posts at SR, even in this forum. Even in this thread, there are three or four examples of uneasiness or self doubt that we try to recognize as AV.

To recap, AV is any thought or idea of drinking again, or doubt in one's ability to do so. That unease you hear when you say never, or that belief that there is some condition on your continued sobriety, is, you guessed it, AV!