Liz-
I like the way my training calls it. Instead of labeling it as good or bad they talk about how people have "missing experiences." It mean they missed something in their life. For me I missed freedom of expression, freedom of feelings for example. That helped me though to not feel so bad when I was having a hard time....because I did not have to label anything else.
The other piece that helped me was a book called the Grief Recovery book. It had me outline experiences of loss in my life and it was incredibly helpful. They often run it as a 13 week program in many places.
I think our childhood helps to define who we are, and a lot of our adulthood is about healing from those "missing experiences." I am just grateful I choose to look at it and give myself a chance to heal.