I read and read through all these posts. I know I am not alone. I have an AS, he is 28 yrs old. My heart is torn in pieces. I keep saying please just give me one more day and I can fix him, I will get thru to him, it never works.
Scenerio now is he is now on 8 yrs felony probation for sale and delievery of meth. I am terrified. I cannot handle this and so many times I lay in bed and fight with my mind, just end this now, end it with you, you won't have to suffer or know anymore. Where is my son, this is not my little loving boy. Since he got put on probation, I have refused to be put on with him, meaning I am not driving him to meetings and such. We are planning on moving almost 2000 miles away because this is tearing our marriage apart and our health. My husband has stage 4 cirrhosis with very enlarged spleen. Me myself am disabled, on meds for pain and depression.
My son just pops in and out of here as he pleases, he will come in and sleep for days and then eat us out of house and home. He is hateful, rude, not the son I know. We have thrown him out, over and over but he comes right back. He beats on doors and windows til you cannot take it no more.
He up all hours of night and when I tell him to be quiet cause my husband sleeping and has to work he will just tell me shut the f up, this is not my son..I cannot handle if he goes to prison. He needs help badly and I don't know what to do. I don't even want to go on living if he goes to prison. I don't want him here, yet when he is gone I cannot function from worry that he been picked up or dead somewhere. This cannot be happening to me..
Even on felony probation he still doing the same thing. He goes into crying spells, how no one loves him, no one will help him, we have helped him over and over and he continues the same journey. I have to be able to focus on my health and my husbands. My son has called me every name thinkable and then some, threatened my husband (stepdad) to drop him to the ground. How can this be happening? How do I deal with the fact my son is going to end up in prison. I can't..I want to help him..So scared here. so Sorry for the long post. I have no one to talk to, all family and friends say is stop worrying about it, let him grow up, but were talking prison. He is a scrawny young man, he won't survive..
Thank you all for listening and letting me share in your stories..
