I get this, I truly do...or at least, I truly believe that I do. However, I just read a suggestion in this forum that said, "Lock down your money. Bank accounts, credit cards, car titles -- all the rest." Yes, I understand that some people do the 'his money', 'her money', 'our money' thing in a marriage these days. I am not one of them, never have been and changing the financial rules twenty five years into our relationship because it protects 'me' where there has only ever been a 'we' is something that feels dishonest, duplicitious and frankly, does damage to my sense of self - which is what I am trying to avoid.

This is but one example, there are others.