hey there. i don't think boundaries are THAT different from child to spouse or sibling etc - except that with minor children. it all comes down to what is acceptable to us...and what is not and what WE will do when faced with unacceptable behaviors.
i'm VERY sorry your wife relapsed and is facing such onerous consequences. with her currently incarcerated and possibly for such a long time, your boundaries might look a bit different than most.
stick close to your support groups! i hope you find some good face to face time with Naranon, good for you for reaching out.