legna

My wife is an addict who recently relapsed. She is currently incarcerated as a result and is facing life wthout the possibility of parole. I am an addict in recovery and have over twenty years continuous clean time. While my time in recovery has given me many tools to deal with problems as they arise, this particular issue is not one that I've faced before and I made the decision to attend Nar-Anon. I have attended two meetings now and plan on going to one this evening.

Both the meetings and my reading through many of the posts in this section of SR have left me feeling uncertain and with questions that I can't quite formulate yet. For instance, almost everyone at the meetings is there because of a child who is using. The boundaries one might set with a child are, in my opinion at least, dramatically different than the boundaries one sets with a partner.

So many of the boundaries and choices these folks have given to their child would constitute domestic violence (particularly financial control) if I were to use these on my wife. Where does enabling stop and controlling begin when we are talking about a spouse and partner?