Thanks Anna. In some ways it was a relief to finally know about his "crush" as he calls it. How minimizing is that?! I am trying to stay out of the cycle of going back through things. I am seeing my own counselor and trying to employ the things we have talked about to avoid throwing myself down that pit of despair.
Where do I stand right now? I would like to try and repair our marriage. There are many good things about my husband along with all the bad I went through in my original post. I myself am certainly no angel and have PLENTY of things I need to work on, but it's going to take the two of us to do that and I can't believe this is an issue after everything that's happened.
I am just so hurt and frustrated that he lacks the empathy to understand the reasons behind me asking him to honor these boundaries. I guess my next step in our upcoming counseling session is to ask him to explain to me why it is so important to him to be able to have these close relationships with women in his group. I can't even imagine what his answer will be. Maybe that he feels like I'm being controlling. I don't know...