I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I'm female too and would not be happy with my husband forming new emotional attachments to women. It sounds as if he is using AA as an excuse for having a relationship with this woman. There is no reason for him to be close with women in AA or elsewhere. The comments on social media to another woman's husband are wholly unacceptable imo and show no respect for you.With his history too it's an accident waiting to happen. I really feel for you and hope you find the strength and courage to end this. you deserve so much better than to be treated with such a lack of respect