Bemyself...I hear you loud and clear. I do the same thing sometimes, the worry. I too am a renter. A divorced single mom of triplets. I did not make some of the choices that put me where I am today, some of those choices were made for me. I can literally watch myself circling the drain sometimes...and I refuse to let it go down like that. I give myself the straight talk..."sh*t or get off the pot, 'licious...those big girl britches aren't going to wear themselves."
The "never drinking again" thing has been my saving grace (I realize "saving grace" is an odd thing for a nontheist to say). I wrestle with a lot of things in life, but drinking is not one of them. It only makes hard harder.
Staying off the booze is not going to make all your other troubles disappear, that's for sure. But it will indeed allow you to look at and manage difficulties in a whole different way.
Stay with it. Stay with us. Strive on with diligence. xo