TippingPoint-
I am glad to hearthat you moved on and are now two years sober.... :bounce That is awesome. At first after I relapsed I was really down on myself. However , now I do feel it was whatever and I definitely learned from it. It was just like you said I felt wrong as I was doing it.... which is strange for me but, the way I look at it now is that of-course it felt strange considering I am a non-drinker. Non-drinkers dont drink so, yep it would seem strange. I hope that makes sense.
I also quit "counting time" after that relapse. I know the date I relapsed just because I know but, I am no longer saying "wow I have a week sober" or whatever. It just is not important. I am sober now and I am very happy about that. I am moving on with my life as a non-drinker. I am living it and enjoying it. Pre-relapse I was just living my life not to drink (as Robby put it). There is so much more to life than just not drinking.
So yep I would have to say a lot changed for me since I relapsed. I do not take for granted that I am sober but, I no longer live in fear of my beast like I did when I initially began this thread. I know it is there and it will act up when it feels like it but, I do feel also that I am capable of handling it. That is a nice feeling.
Jess