Rrose you sound very like me, at least in relation to your drinking habits and where they can lead you and how they can make you feel. I am also where you have been in the past, in that I have not drunk for 3 months and am dealing with a counsellor. I drank at home as well, though hadn't reached the stage where I was hiding bottles, but the reality was that that was perfectly possible in the future. I have also managed to act badly in the security of my home, without social pressures.
I am not a trained philosopher, but like to think and tend to 'over-think' at times. One of my rationalisations when justifying to myself why I had drunk to excess or simply drunk, was that drink 'switched me off'. Of course when I had done something bad in drink, then I had lots of material of a grim nature to 'over-think' about. The cycle was complete!
You don't mention your beliefs on spirituality, though you say that others have raised the issue. I am deeply skeptical about organised religion, having experienced the joys of a catholic upbringing. However, there is an increased awareness of the benefits of mindfulness, which has links with Buddhist ways of living, and which I imagine many on here will know about. Inportance is there placed on how you are when you go through life and how you choose to set your mind.
I told my counsellor recently, that life is boring without drink, but feelings and emotions are creeping back in whilst My belly isn't full of booze and my head isn't full of worries and over analysis.
Just thought I would share with you. Good luck and stick at it!