Well, Sober, your last post couldn't have been more timely: barely 3 days after I posted about watching out for my depressive thinking overwhelming me, I damn well picked up last night. All because I'd spent the last 2 or 3 days getting caught up in worries about my housing future as I have no real secure home, being a renter. Not a good place to be when you're not far off 60 and on yer own, unable to work.
When those anxieties hit, I tend to go into a weird dream / fantasy / clingin' n cravin' state: I hit property for sale websites, and obsessively trawl them for a decent house I might be able to afford with the bit of money I have apart from my government disability pension. Needless to say, these days, the housing market here in eastern Aus is so inflated cost wise, that to buy is still not an option. As each month goes by, each year, my fixed amount of cash of course decreases due to rent payments and living expenses.
So: I get frustrated, envious of those my age who do own their own place (most of them outright), despairing....then I start to think: huh! All very well to talk about Acceptance of what I can't change, Courage to change what i can etc......I'm gonna end up homeless or in a poky depressing government housing unit in one of the city's 'Bronx' areas. And on it goes.
So, I couldn't stand those thoughts and feelings yesterday arvo, and suddenly just wanted to drink - exactly like my previous recent relapses.
Damn n blast this addiction!
Anyway, I'm back again, nursing a rotten headache from dehydration, and thoroughly chastened. Nothing to be done except 'move forward' as you rightly say, Sober.