Hi and welcome Rrose
It took me many years to get to the point where I could quit - I too became an at home drinker....
I was so scared of changing my life, so scared of being different...but the fear turned out to be far greater than the reality - I have a great life sober, and even more importantly than that - I like myself.
I rediscovered a me I totally forgotten about - a me with motivation and excitement, imagination and drive - all the things that alcohol had sapped from me - and I wasn't even aware of it.
I think you deserve the chance to find rediscover that Rrose too
you'll find a lot of support here
D