wow. i am so overwhelmed by the amount of replies my post got. thank you so much guys.
it's been a week since i last stayed over at our house (i guess i can't call it my house anymore) and i can say overall i have a feeling of clarity and a certain kind of happiness. i have pinpointed my drinking problem a couple of times before but remember my friends saying i don't have one ('stop trying to realize a stereotype, a writer with a drinking problem!'). i admit i often need affirmation and validation from people around me that is why this recent development has really pushed me to categorically begin my sobering up. in a few weeks is our family reunion (it's a big deal to us, 100+ of my relatives are coming and surely there'll be loads of booze). Some people there have seen me binge on alcohol (i was supposed to take a health vacation in the province but ended being a drug and alcohol binge
this was 6 months ago ) but they themselves drink a lot so they didnt really think i had a problem. my current hurdle is the 'impending' disappointment of my parents, i haven't told them anything yet. i don't think they are entirely clueless cause my mom sometimes posts anti-drinking anti-smoking stuff on my facebook. i just have disappointed them so many times and i really can't anticipate what their reaction would be. :| most of my stuff are still in the house i used to stay in and that's caused me to stall in my work. my recording rig and instruments are there. i have turned to reading books in the meantime tho. a friend of mine suggested that i read kerouac's big sur. has any of you read that yet? i have researched and found that it is highly autobiographical. i have read other kerouac's books and i know he is an alcoholic. will reading about other alcoholics' experiences told in a literary way help me or am i running the risk of romanticizing this whole situation? im sorry if im just vomiting words here.. i really dont have anyone to talk to right now