A) she will not come back home to NJ and B) that I will become a memory.
Should I be preparing myself for her to not come back?
Lot of stories I've heard about those who go to Florida for rehabilitation never come back home.
Hey there.....welcome to SR.
There is no need to worry about something that may or may not happen. I lived in that world of worry and fear for a very long time.....it never changed a thing. Whatever was going to happen, happened whether I worried about it or not. But by worrying about it, I was "living" the nightmare of something that hadn't happened. It was an awful existence and I'm glad I figured my way out of it.
Instead of preparing for her not to come back.....I might suggest that you prepare in the event that she DOES. I found my way out of living a fear based life through Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. Those programs "speak" the same language as most of the recovery programs out there (12 step based). I found a different way to view things in those rooms. And it helped me IMMEASURABLY!
It also gave me insight to the program my son is involved with......and I was able to meet some really wonderful people who came to speak at our Nar-Anon group from NA.
Facing our fears is really difficult.....I use to think it was easier to "be prepared" for the worst.....but it wasn't. I was stuck in a very negative frame of mind. Today I am able to accept today and reside there.....tomorrow will bring what it will bring regardless of how much I worry about it. It feels a heck of a lot better.
Stick around.....there's much to learn here on SR.....there's a lot of collective wisdom and many people who are willing to share their experience, strength and hope.
gentle hugs
ke