Hi guys, i am a 22 female musician/writer kicked out by my housemates yesterday. They weren't angry at me or anything but just felt that staying ina house with other artists is not the best situation for me to be in. You see I have a shitload of diseases (pcos, hormonal imbalance, diabetes) and have been in a yearlong struggle to get rid of most of those. I have been pretty successful in my treatment it's just that when the doctor advises me that I can have a day off in my diet I end up binge drinking. I am able to control and not drink at all for the times that the doctor tells me not to but when he gives me the go signal I go crazy. I never tell the doctor what happens since my recovery medically has been steady. Last week, I had a breakthrough improvement overall and my doctor was very happy about it. so was my family and friends. So in celebration, we went to the beach and bought a shitload of alcohol. The first night was ok. we just smoked blunts and drank a little. the 2nd day though, we drank the rest of the alcohol we brought and I don't remember a thing. My friends tell me that I almost died (ran after atruck full of sand and laid down behind it before it unloaded, swam in the ocean (it was a surf spot so the tides were crazy) and other stuff they didnt tell me about anymore) I was so anxious for the first few days after, I know I hurt them... all of them went out of town right after the trip so I was left alone to bring myself to the hospital.. I went home to my parents house in the meantime and sought the counsel of my old college friends.. they reassured me that everything will be okay.. I got a dislocated wrist and a mild concussion. lots of bruises too. and a very broken heart
So when I finally decided to go to our house and talk to my friends, I was taken aback as to how grave the situation is. They raised the issue of me going out of control and doing stuff that are detrimental to my health, stuff that could kill me. and I do these consciously. I have been to rehab once for heroin abuse in my teens and have recognized my alcohol problem some months ago but just told myself to avoid alcohol but then when i get a hold of alcohol i just go crazy... my friends were hurt. they are still hurting. they thought i was gonna die on the beach that night.. i will never be able to understand fully the weight of their feelings right now but I understand... One of them advised me to get professional help, not to brag about **** but I do have a very high IQ (i am a mensa member) but have always struggled with abuse of substances and other things. I have been severely overweight in my teens and managed to go down a healthier size although I am still overweight now. :/ I am sorry if everything is scattered and ****** told but here it is. thanks for welcoming me here. i will see a professional on tuesday.
i am sad but a tthe same time very thankful to my housemates for putting the issue upfront.
