lizatola

What do you all think of that thought? I was reading from a book on narcissism and there was a section that claimed codependents are closet narcissists.

Here is an excerpt from "The Object of my Affection is in my Reflection", by Rachelle Lerner
"Also, those who label themselves as codependents are not necessarily narcissists. However, in my clinical experience, the driving force of many a codependent is not altruism. In many circumstances, their motivations are self-serving and may derive from a refusal or inability to tolerate the discomfort of others. For example,if such a person's spouse is unhappy, her assumption is that it's about her. This causes her such anxiety that she becomes desperate to alleviate his pain. Why? In large part so she can feel better. She makes the sadness go away by becoming a shape-shifter; she will become whatever he wants her to be so she can get rid of her uneasiness.

I believe that many who define themselves as codependents need to take a hard look at the underlying motivation behind their care taking. Could it be that we labeled many closeted narcissists as codependents? there is definitely some overlap here. Codependency could certainly describe a type of narcissistic behavior where one devotes his life to another and fawns over someone in order to get self-worth-while at the same time feeling resentful, bitter, and contemptuous."

There was more, but just a few paragraphs but this thought really threw me. I guess I never considered it but I can see the truth in it. What are your thoughts on this theory and book excerpt?