Nonsensical

Indeed. 7 weeks ago when I was at bottom (emotionally) I offered her the option of dictating my treatment plan. I had made attempts for 20 years to get relief - all of it involved sitting on some folding chairs, and it had been ineffective. She is well aware of this. She was leaning toward 1 on 1 addiction counseling when I discovered AVRT. I expressed an interest in going this route, and she has gone along with it.

The new recommendations are not coming from my wife. They are coming from people who just learned about the issues and are not up to speed on my past efforts. It's all new to them, and they seem to think it is new to me. It's not new to me. I would like to let them know I appreciate their concern, but I have a plan, it's nothing they have ever heard of before, but I know it will work. I'm not in denial about my problem. The problem could not be more clear. I am not even capable of a single safe night of wanton drunkenness. Me swallowing alcohol would be as irresponsible as handing a loaded firearm to a 5-year-old. I don't know what will happen, and tragedy is possible any second. I should never drink again. That's why I never will.

And to clarify - my wife's bags aren't packed sitting by the door. That's not what I meant by "laying the groundwork to leave me" if necessary. She simply wouldn't feel right leaving me and announcing my problem on the same day. She needs to make people aware of it now so that she doesn't look like she abandoned me at the first sign of trouble if it persists. She is a manager. She's quite good with expectations and perceptions.

She is also the best thing in my life. Last night the insomnia was raging. I could not get comfortable and my mind was racing. At 5 a.m. I went back to bed and leaned up against her back. I could smell her and feel her skin. My mind quieted and I was able to get back to sleep for a short while. That says it all right there, I think.

And seriously, I appreciate the thoughtfulness in this thread.