Addictive Thinking
I have posted that I drank at work on Friday...AGAIN... and that I have been living in pure hell dealing with the consequences. I am living in DREAD of having to face my Boss today. He was out of town and I got caught by the manager. I talked to the manager this morning, and explained that although it may look the opposite to people around me, I am actually fighting an intense battle every day. It appears to me that with only 2 drinking episodes in 4 months, I think I am s-l-o-w-l-y winning the battle in my commitment to complete sobriety and FREEDOM from the CONTROL of my ADDICTION. He expressed his understanding.
Almost immediately my Addiction-corrupted Beast Brain interjected the thought that maybe I had 'got away with it', which obviously leads to the next thought interjected by my addiction-corrupted Beast Brain that I could possibly drink again and 'get away with it' That is how insidious my addiction REALLY IS, and why 'I' realize it is LIFE or DEATH that I continue in my COMMITMENT to complete SOBRIETY.