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Old 03-16-2013, 10:49 AM
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lizatola
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Staying on my side of the street

My AH is really amping up his behavior and trying to turn everything around to being my fault. Calling me angry, saying that my baseline feeling is anger over everything. Attacking my faith and saying that it's shallow because if I had a deeper faith, I'd cut him some slack. So much more and he's getting angrier about me holding my ground and not engaging. I honestly feel at peace(well, there are times when my anxiety spikes but I feel internally at peace) and he's spiraling.

He had a binge this past week where he must have been in blackout because he made 2 different excuses as to why he didn't return a phone call and they completely contradict each other. I responded via text saying, "Sorry for what? Oh, when you called and then hung up on me? No worries." He was really apologizing for falling asleep early and not returning my call but he actually had a few texts back and forth with me that he obviously doesn't remember. What gets me is that he doesn't check his phone to see those texts so that he can make up a better lie? Which pretty much proves to me that he was most likely in a blackout, that is, unless he's all of a sudden become a sleep walker, LOL.

So, what I've been doing is staying on my side of the street. I mean, I am not even tempted to cross over and I now see how crazy it's making him. For me, this a huge step. There is a part of me that feels guilty for pulling away so much and taking care of myself, but I realize that if AH doesn't like it he has choices he can make too. He can divorce me if he's that unhappy. He can move out. He can get sober. He can get help. It's so nice to finally realize that you are not responsible for others and that what he thinks of me is none of my business. Man, what has taken me so long to get here? My peace is wonderful, I feel great, and that's all that matters for now.
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