Originally Posted by
Dominorose 
It is so convincing I really have trouble to separate my true self and the Beast, because each time I stopped bulimia I gained weight. Because my true self doesn't want to get fat it seems the Beast uses this excuse because it knows it is my biggest fear...
What do you think about this?
Hey DR,
My true self did not want to feel pain, boredom, anger, loneliness, insecurity. Part of going down this path is facing some unpleasant things along the way. Even though our big plans are different, how we keep them is very similar. We need to realize the true us does not need to give in to our beast. I think part of fighting the beast is acknowledging our fears and finding a constructive and healthy way to deal with them. Also distraction was very helpful for me in the first few months. I tried a bunch of new things and found running, kayaking, listening to music, watching movies and staying in touch on SR helpful.
I am wishing you well.