I definitely know this all to well...
It got to the point where when I got up in the morning I would check for bruises, scrapes, etc just to figure out if I may have possibly gotten black out drunk the night before.
I used this as a way to try to determine if I may have done anything that I might need to apologize to my husband for when he woke up (as I am a really mean drunk like many).
Just one more reason I am fighting for sobriety!