HitRock, my Big Plan is in french, but it is, in english:
I will never binge eat and purge again. And I will never change my mind.
What's really tricky with bulimia is the fear of weight gain. I explain : when you re-feed, you always regain weight at the beginning. So each time I have a meal, my Beast sends me urges to binge and the fatal excuse : "you have to binge and purge, if you keep this down, you'll become fat".
It is so convincing I really have trouble to separate my true self and the Beast, because each time I stopped bulimia I gained weight. Because my true self doesn't want to get fat it seems the Beast uses this excuse because it knows it is my biggest fear...
What do you think about this?