I am just saying that because a lot of your posts seem to be like this. You are an addict and continue to abuse and use. Would you prefer we tell you that everything will be okay and you can just keep using?
Sorry, but if you keep using everything WILL NOT be okay. Terrible things await you if you continue down this path. It gets old listening to someone who won't commit. Sometimes tough talk works for people. If this doesn't help, so be it. Good luck.