When we make the goals of not drinking more important then anything else we got going for us, we're often left with nothing better then to return to drinking. Weird, eh?!
We return to drinking not because we "failed", but more that we succeded in proving to ourselves we have nothing better or worse to do, and that we're not losing much by drinking: its called justifying our behaviors to satisfy our thoughts/feelings about ourselves/ourlives.
Quality of life.
I quit drinking so I could live a good life. Drinking was stopping me. I quit to be free, not to be a slave to not-drinking. I quit to be myself, drinking was stopping me from being me.
Quality of life.
Would I myself return to drinking if I could not "see" me appreciating quality living?
Yeah, I would. What would stop me? Quit drinking to live a sucker's life? Be a sober loser? Um, no.
This is exactly why I take what I need from whatever to enjoy my free life. Living in a box labled 'non-drinker inside' for me would blow big time.
Besides drinking or not drinking, how is your life otherwise right about now, jkb? I know you're feeling like a loser, but look past those temporary feelings and mindset...
You can, of course, quit drinking again. And you will quit again, I'm sure.
Thanks for having the courage to share, Jess.