Originally Posted by
RobbyRobot 
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
I have another question related to a topic I brought up a little while back. I mentioned that I truly cannot recall the actual sensation of being under the influence of alcohol any more, and I'm not sure when or how fast I lost that memory, but I think it was a long time ago.
You said you can still recall the actual sensations of being under the influence after 30+ years. Could you confirm that for me because I'm thinking how that works and what it implies might make it a topic worth researching.
GT
Yeah, I remember the topic too. Yeah, I can confirm I still remember being under the influence. I also can remember being between drinks too, wanting to be drunk. As well, I can remember my struggles fighting against myself, my Beast, my alcoholic mind in my first 2 years of sobriety too.
For the initial start just after quitting, the "remembering" was forced and involuntary. As I progressed, this came more and more under my control. The first year I was gaining rapidly, and I could will it to silence if I was having a great day otherwise. Before the end of my second year, I had total control, and free choice of when I remembered. I can turn it off and on at will, no problemo.
I'm sure this has to do somewhat with my understanding of having an illness of alcoholism. My AVRT always "sees" my alcoholism, and that is no surprise that I've learned to tune in and out from that particular AV "noise"
So, what interesting implications are you seeing as topical?
Thanks for the question, GT.
Thanks!
I hope I've cleared things up some.
Actually, I'm not sure you've cleared it up. What I have forgotten is THE MEMORY OF THE ACTUAL
SENSATION OF BEING UNDER THE INFLUENCE. Not the memories that I was under the influence, or how I behaved, or where I was, or all that stuff. Just the memory of the SENSATION of being high or drunk. I can't remember WHAT IT FELT LIKE.
Can you remember what it actually FELT LIKE to be high or drunk?