Originally Posted by
Dominorose 
I know it's only pleasure-seeking.
Is it? Do you enjoy it? I'm guessing not. That was one of the hardest parts for me—to pierce the veil of addiction, and see through all the lies I told myself:
—"Drinking is fun." Really? What part was I enjoying? I mean, yeah, years aho there were some good times. But toward the end, it was pure misery. The best I could hope for was to get numb. But even then, I couldn't escape the worry. The concerns for my health. The fear I might never be able to quit.
—"Drinking is relaxing." Hmmmm. I wasn't feeling very relaxed when I checked my eyes for jaundice. Or when the phone rang, and I suddenly realized I might not even be able to fake sobriety. Or at work the next day, feeling tired and desperate, already beginning to debate that voice inside my head. It's exhausting, just like you said.
—"Drinking helps me cope... It takes the edge off bad times... Helps me celebrate the good times." What a joke. The reality is when I had a bad day, I would open a bottle and proceed to wallow in whatever negative emotions I had. Not only that, it made me a generally bitter guy. Resentful. Not just when I was drinking; I used to curse at other drivers at 7 in the morning. Is that "coping"? As for celebrating... ha. I've already told you how much "fun" I was having.
I was terrified of quitting, Dominorose. I imagined life would be one long struggle. I thought it would be boring, too. Guess what? That's all a lie. Don't believe it. The first few weeks were difficult, scary, and emotional—but then I adapted. Not only adapted, but began to really live again. The world is more colorful now. I'm more patient with myself and others. I'm much more relaxed. I do a lot more now—try new things, socialize more, and just generally have a lot more fun. I sleep like a baby. I look better. I feel better.
Think about it: You hear people on SR say all the time they wish they'd quit much sooner than they did. But have you ever heard one person say they wish they'd waited?
The Big Plan isn't the sacrifice. Postponing it—that's the real sacrifice. Why waste another minute?
