AH and I have been separated for six months. I haven't filed for divorce, and I'm not interested in actively dating. However, some guys have come sniffing around and I've been weighing my options privately, just taking the temperature. A few guys from my wider friend circle made their presence known immediately after finding out I was separated, and I felt disappointed that they were waiting in the wings trying to wife me with complete disregard for my feelings in the matter.
I've found a few things out so far. I'm so not ready, and I don't trust myself. I don't like being pushed or pressured to date or not date. I've hung out with a few people who I realized I don't want to spend my free time with, and that's fine, and I don't have to justify it with anyone or feel bad for not being friends for life or letting them down easy. It turns out single people in their thirties still want to go out and get wasted and stay out until 4am, and I'm not interested, and/or have really conflicted feelings about it. I dive out early and go home alone.
Prior to my marriage and all the conversations we've had on SR, I was terrified of being lonely. I was at my loneliest in bed at night next to my AH for the last 3-5 years, and I don't want that again in any relationship. All of my relationships are shifting right now, with my kids, my parents, my AH, and myself, as I learn new boundaries and expectations for behavior.
I can't future-trip and predict what my dating life might look like, but I know that I'd rather be alone than have chaos and uncertainty in my primary relationships.