I feel like Im powerless
You feel powerless because you are powerless......but only as it pertains to him. You are not powerless as it pertains to yourself.
One of the most powerful realizations for me was understanding the difference between what I can control and what I can't. Accepting what I can't control. And taking the necessary action to take care of my emotional, psychological and spiritual health to the best of my ability......first and foremost.
By continually trying to control the addict, watch his every move, guess whether or not he used, feeling sorry for him, etc., the focus is entirely on something/someone who you have absolutely no control over. It will certainly make us feel powerless and as though our own lives are spiraling out of control. And it usually is.....because our focus is on the wrong person.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke