I guess the memories are kind-of fading but, I wish they would stay around so I could remember how bad it was.
p. 122 of The New Cure talks about this ("Why can't I remember the pain?") I thought this was interesting in relation to what you are saying:
In RR, it is unnecessary to to exhume past horrors to deter future drinking or using. You can do what is natural and gradually forget them. When we say, "Close the book on that sorry chapter of your life," we mean it. In AVRT, pain is only a means to an end-permanent abstinence. Pain is the classroom for AVRT, but eventually school is out.