I get that we have inherently contradictory desires, and I get that one is the addiction and not really us, but why are we anthropomorphising it to such an extreme that its almost insisting that we have an entirely separate entity, with desires and even a sentience of its own?
Wilting,
i read a bit about AVRT when i first got sober, or maybe shortly before. and then i read a bit about LifeRing's A and S, the Addict Self and the Sober Self.
these separating-outs of "voices" was helpful to me for the first little while; seeing it this way allowed me to step back, so to speak, from my contradictory, ambivalent-seeming desires and keep true to the overwhelming desire to be sober. anything else that came up, such as the gottagottawannahavetodrink stuff i just kind of managed to look at from a bit of distance and to see what was behind it when it came up.
since i knew i wanted to be sober, i could "decide" each time a "voice" came up to the contrary that this was not the real me.
but i didn't/couldn't use the beastie-thing and even the A/S split for long, since i really just see myself as one whole.