Originally Posted by Wilting
I'm in a place where my mind is racing, my heart is thumping and I'm question everything down to the neutron. It's an exhausting place to be.
You are so right. It is so exhausting, and not sustainable. Stop the white noise, commit to not drinking for a couple of days to read the AVRT threads and the RR book. Once you end your addiction (and you can), then you can tackle the meaning of life if you feel like it.