Originally Posted by
soberlicious 
I must have had some degree of separation that occured innately though, because I'm thinking that surely over the course of 10 years I would have had some beast activity that I dismissed.
I just didn't/couldn't identify it as such.
I can tell you this, had I understood then how to separate I would not have started drinking again. I thought those thoughts were me. I thought I had made a conscious decision to return to drinking, but looking back I see that IT gained control again because I had no knowledge of IT.
Yeah, I can understand what you're saying here, no problemo. I'm sorry if it's coming across I'm analysing, since I'm certainly not thinking that of you in that kind of cold way analysis brings to the table. I have no better answer then you do, I'm just talking with you.
Originally Posted by soberlicious
So, Robby, you can analyze my experience and say that the faux BP was the problem. I also had fellowship members analyze and say the problem was not maintaining spiritual fitness that brought me back to the bottle. I say it was ignorance of the AV concept. I suppose it's a possibility there may be some truth found in any and all of those things. I honestly don't know, except that I know it's different this time. So different that it's like I don't have the words to describe it. And it was different this time, still with no knowledge of AVRT...I dunno...but I am glad I know what I know now.
The AV concept in AVRT is that AV is the sole cause of the addiction itself. If you didn't generally know of that idea in real-time experiences back then whenever, then certainly the outcome would be grim no matter our present understandings of looking back to whatever.
I'm glad you have a different understanding now too.
