with you all on this one, my A has now been told that i think his behaviour related to alcohol is unacceptable and that i cant tolerate it anymore.
ive made it clear that i cant stay together like this, and told him if he wishes to carry on drinking then thats his choice and i have no issues with that, however its not the life i want for me.
his choice is now to try and stop drinking, previously he wasnt really prepared to try. were going to give it a month, but i know what will happen.
he too works hard, doesnt need to drink every day, even doesnt really get drunk when he drinks, but sure enough every few months he'll have a binge weekend, related to stress, and then all will go back to usual life again with it all massively controlled.
i think as partner to an A we dont want to believe that they are alcoholics, or there not stereo-typical alcoholics, so we cling on to every ray of hope to assume their not an A and its something else, something not so serious.
reality is and its taken me a while to get to this point, if the drinking is enough to cause you a worry and they cant seem to learn from it or stop it, thats all we need to know.
i love my A like you wouldnt believe, and a life without him in it would be just awful, i have the visions of him now without me, sat in a flat, working 12 hours a day then going home and getting steaming drunk, replay and repeat, replay and repeat. that thought saddens me so much... but if thats the life he truly wants then i cant stop that try as i might. If its not important to him then im wasting my time.
watch this space, although i could write you the answers right now.