at the beginning of my journey ~ I too struggled with the concept of "disease" of alcoholism/addiction
I mean - really a disease??
Then I went with a big chip on my shoulder to an open AA meeting - a birthday nite -where the families attend to celebrate the members years of sobriety.
In my all knowing smugness I sat there - deciding who was an A and who was family -
and there was a very classy elagant woman probably in her late 60's not a hair out of place ~ truly she could have been the "Jackie Kennedy" of the room ~ I thought to myself - she must be someone's wife or mother ~
much to my surprise - she stepped up the microphone to start the meeting and said
Hi my name is _______ and I'm an alcoholic. It is solely by God's Grace that tonite I celebrate 20 years sober.
She went on to tell her story ~ it was a doozy - about drinking well into her 40's, in front of her children, loosing jobs, family, and everything ~
She said something like this disease is NO respector of person, sex, age, or religion - it destroyed me
I was floored ~ how wrong I had been,
How convicted I became about my judging nature
she looked nothing like the alcoholics/addicts in my life ~ but her story was just like theirs.
That's when I realized there was no "understanding" this disease thing - I could accept and decide to start my recovery or I could keep my focus on trying to decipher something that was cunning, baffling and powerful
So right or wrong - disease, not a disease, alcoholism or problem drinker ~ for me it doesn't matter what you call it ~ I call it something that if my focus stays on that my life is unmanagable ~ if my focus stays on my recovery and what is healthy for me - serenity, joy and hope tends to be in my heart, soul and mind regardless of the world around me ~
Just my e, s, & h ~
pink hugs as always!