Methadone
Jesus. Mine must sound pathetic. I started secretly taking my husband's prescription methadone because he never took much of it. He had months worth piling up. At first I took it to step up a level. I wanted an extra boost when I had to do anything physically challenging. Then I took it when I was going to be around people to make me better socially. And now I've taken it every day for five months just to normal.
I noticed I was addicted. So yesterday I went cold turkey. Today is my second day.