Alcoholism vs alcohol abuse(what am I missing?)
I've been reading a book titled, "If you Loved Me, You'd Stop". The author makes a delineation between alcoholics and alcohol abusers and that people who are only abusing alcohol may not have to completely abstain forever from alcohol.
Now, one of the things I've struggled with regarding my AH is that he doesn't fit the 'mold' for an alcoholic as he is a binge drinker and there are times when he can have just 3 beers and stop. He doesn't have cravings and can honestly go months without drinking if he wanted to. When he drinks, it's a conscious choice to tie one on and sometimes he just doesn't have an off switch and these are the times where he gets into trouble.
He won't go to AA because he says he's not like the addicts that are there. He says he drank for emotional reasons, to calm the anxiety, fear, and stress. And, I do believe that's the truth because I've witnessed the anger and stress issues firsthand. So, I guess I'm frustrated because his path to recovery just doesn't fit the AA or treatment program molds.
Our marriage therapist says that even though he's a harm reduction therapist, that AH needs to abstain forever. He truly believes that AH has a real problem, but stops short of calling him an alcoholic(a term that AH has made very clear doesn't appeal to him nor does he want us to call him that while in counseling).
I've really been struggling lately because I know the drinking and lying and driving rental cars on suspended licenses is just the icing on the cake when it comes to our issues. Dealing with his continued drinking and lies compounded with disprespectful behavior are really getting to me.
I'm struggling with the 'disease' aspect of alcoholism and it seems to be making me resentful. I've put so much time into myself and my recovery and I want to keep going with that but many days I just get frustrated because I want to be further along than I am. So the rats in my head keep running ragged and I'm trying to just get them off their wheel, and quite frankly that's exhausting, LOL! Anyway, I guess I'm looking for input but a simple nod of understanding would be great, too! Thanks everyone!