I have hope too legna. You do not know what is going to happen yet.
From reading your story, you are no stranger to extreme difficulty. You have come through circumstances that most others would never have been able to. You have done this before, you have somehow known how to do what needs to be done when facing seemingly insurrmountable obstacles. I know you're tired...but go slowly, hobble if you have to but just don't let go...don't slip under.
Thinking of you.