Trying to force an outcome usually backfires! I know, I have tried many times.
It took a while for my husband to stop blaming me when I asked him to move out. I had to listen to the advise I received here. I started alanon and therapy. I went no contact. I stopped being needy. My husband didn't have to try because I was. When I started to get stronger, pull back and stopped engaging (often times, I started the roller coaster) - he started to get worried. Up until that point, he knew me better than I knew myself. He knew the game, he had complete control until I sought help and took back MY control.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.