Is it ALWAYS the beast?
I have a beast in my head that craves alcohol. There is no doubt in MY mind that I am not alone in my own head. He is in here with me, trying every day to convince me to drink alcohol.
Does that mean that every thought I have pertaining to drinking alcohol comes from the beast? I don’t think it does.
My father has never had the maladaptive appetite for alcohol. When I was younger he drank beer from time to time. A 6-pack in our fridge could last weeks. He would perform house maintenance on the weekends. After mowing the lawn and cleaning out the garage he would turn on a ball game and drink a beer.
It is deeply ingrained in me that beer is a reward for hard work. In ME, not in my beast. Certainly my beast tries to use that against me, but it is a thought pertaining to drinking alcohol that does not come from him. It comes from me and my observations of my father when I was young.
My wife does not have the maladaptive appetite for alcohol. She sometimes likes to have a glass of wine with dinner. That isn’t coming from her beast. She doesn’t appear to have one. At least, not one that craves alcohol. (She can actually pour a glass and not finish it. My beast finds that incomprehensible. I can scarce open a bottle and not finish it.)
Am I not capable of having that same desire for a glass of wine with dinner, originating from the same place in my brain that it originates in my wife’s brain? I can’t think of any reason why I wouldn’t be capable of those same thoughts. My normal desire can’t be acted upon because I have more going on in my head with respect to alcohol than she does. However, just because my reasonable thoughts about drinking alcohol are overborne by the beast doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Thoughts?