I went through the same with my EXAH, I so desperately wanted back the man I had married. It can't happen!
He left me for women he met at bars, one he picked up hitching. He always came back and I didn't have the confidence to break away. I truly thought he was the love of my life. I talked to another lady at the gym and she had been married to an addict. She had tears in her eyes when she told me how much she loved him, and how she could not live like that any more. How he loved drugs more than her and I felt her pain, I knew exactly what she meant.
When my EXAH left for 2 years and I didn't know where he was during that time, I finally had the confidence and courage to move on.
No one can tell you what to do (and should not!) but there is one thing that needs pointing out. You can't go back, things have happened that have changed both of you. If he comes back the chances are very high that you will slip back into the same patterns.
(((huggs)))