Originally Posted by
pravchaw 
I don't want to be in my 70's worrying about an addicted son. I need to detach now, while I am still relatively young and vigorous and let him deal with life on its terms.
I feel like this too - my husband and I are newly married and I just realized he's an addict. I don't want to become one of the people I hear about in Al Anon who are 30 years into a marriage and dealing with a raging alcoholic still who won't go to treatment.
I need to get myself clear and centered and focused on me so I can make good choices for me and my life now -- and not wait around in a codependent way hoping my husband will get into recovery -- because he may not!
So out of self-love, I choose to focus on me and make sure that I'm getting my momentum and stability with detaching and surrendering. (Going to Al Anon regularly and starting to work the steps now.)
We're both in our mid 30's and we have our whole lives ahead of us if we get willing to get into recovery. Whether he does or doesn't though, I'm sure gonna do it. <3