Originally Posted by
Kindeyes 
To the best of my knowledge, no one in a 12 program will "suggest" that an addict pursuing recovery should stop associating with those who are not recovering addicts.....but they will strongly suggest that they stop hanging out with people they used drugs with.
And in my experience, it may not be a good idea for an addict pursuing recovery to hang out with their codependents who don't understand drug addiction and codependency. A codependent who is unaware of the dangers of codependency to an addict's recovery can be very harmful indeed. And, speaking for myself, I was completely unaware of my own codependency for a long time.....it was my own form of denial. A strong codependent and an addict are a very toxic mix. An unaware codependent can undermine the efforts of a recovering addict........all the while doing so with the absolute best of intentions.
Not suggesting that anyone here is toxic or codependent......just sharing my experience.
I have to agree with Ann's statement. If I ask someone to leave me alone and they don't, they are being disrespectful of my boundaries. SweetPea....you are hurting so very deeply......and so is he. These powerful emotions give addiction an excuse to rear it's ugly head--not because of you--but because of an addict's inability to manage their own emotions well during early recovery.
He needs space and time. If it's meant to be.....it will be.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
Regardless of your experience KindEyes- it is my experience that they DO and DID. And I feel like you are trying to negate what I, my boyfriend, and his parents have been through with your direct comments to me. NOT COOL
I'm sharing my experience with the OP. Personally I see clear signs the posters boyfriend is in a very similar situation as my boyfriend. She said she wants to know the truth, and while I cannot tell her what happened in her situation (neither can anyone else here) I'm telling her what I went through. She can do with it what she wants.
And yes KindEyes, my boyfriends first outpatient included NA meetings. This is where all the issues occurred.
When he was involved in NA his sponsor had many opinions and shared them with vigor to my boyfriend. In the areas of work, grad school among other things.
The new outpatient only held group meetings for those in their own clinic and it was run by professional staff members. In this new environment, I also went through family sessions about enabling, and codependency. These are not unique to NA. It was never suggested that it was unhealthy for me to be involved with my boyfriend. It was never implied I was "toxic" either.
My boyfriend also did not tell me he wanted to end our relationship so he could focus on his recovery when in the new program, and he wasn't bullied for any of his choices either.