The sad reality is you WILL go through life dealing with this. There is no "magic" cure. He was always be an addict. It is up to him wheather he is a recovering one or not. I have no faith in addicts anymore, I couldn't spend the rest of my life waiting for a relapse. I know myself well enough to know that is what I would do. I would never have trust again. I would always be suspicious. It just is not the kind of life I want to lead. You say you can picture the perfect life with him?? What the heck has he done to give you that impression??