Why I am here
I posted this as my first blog entry, as well, but I want to post it in this group, because this is where I feel most comfortable.
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Hi, my (SoberRecovery) name is Whatsit, and I am a recovering codependent. I also want to recover from overeating (the wrong things). I will be heading out later to day to my first local Al-Anon meeting.
I have one younger brother, age 55, who is an alchoholic with a history of illegal drug use (cocain? heroin? won't admit it) as well, and who probably has recently been using again. He traded in his health for his addictions and has been chronically seriously ill for several years.
My parents, prior to their deaths, asked me to provide him with a place to live for the rest of his life. Needless to say, they were codependent. His addictions robbed them of the comfortable retirement they should have had.
I am married (over 3 decades) to a workaholic, a compulsive penny-pincher, perfectionist and do-it-yourselfer. Our surviving son is addicted to computer games, and WH (workaholic husband) is his codependent.
I have been WH's codependent, but, thanks to the grace of God, I am on my way to a better life. WH has mended some of his ways and begun to take more responsibility for his own choices and stopped blaming me.
I am learning how to remain the family caregiver with loving detachment and to stand up for myself, and I am fortunate to belong to a small but wonderful religious community and to have friends who freely give their support in appropriate ways.
I do things that give me a life of my own, but for anonymity's sake, I won't be giving details.
However, I am not well, yet, and recent events have opened old wounds and dredged up residual anger about the choices and circumstances that led to my present circumstances. I know that things could be worse, that I could be living in poverty, in a war zone, or with domestic violence, that I have been spared many of the things others have had to bear. I know I am better off than the addicts in my life. That said, this is not the life I wanted to live, and I want WH and CAS (computer-addicted son) to GROW UP! AB (addicted brother) is mentally ill, and probably cannot recover.
I expect to be a regular here. Thanks for listening.