You guys have me thinking now.
I think it boils down to the "victim". Is he being a victim or am I being a victim.
My son has truely been suicidal on probably 2 occasions. He on a million occasions has stated that he doesn't want to live anymore and it's all my fault because of his horrible child hood. Quack, Quack.
The thought that comes to my mind right now is when we act or they act is there a victim.
If my son wastes all his money on things that aren't important and then crys because he doesn't have money for cigarettes then he has put himself in the victim mode. If I buy him cigarettes then I am allowing him to stay in the victim mode and I'm also a victim of his manipulation. Now on the other hand, if he had an unexpected doctor bill or something like that he had to pay and then didn't have enough money for cigarettes, and asked for help, he wouldn't be in victim mode and I wouldn't be a victim of manipulation.
If he is truely suicidal and I take him to a hospital then I feel that is ok. If he is just crying on a pity party and not willing to do anything for himself and I run to get him, then he gets to remain a victim and I have been a victim of his manipulation.
The times I try to compromise is in life threatening situations when a jacket, gloves and hat might keep him from freezing to death. Also if he is doing everything he can for himself at the time I might throw in extra things just because I want to.
So I think that we could question our actions on these terms. Is anyone a victim in this.
Hugs,
MG
Last edited by Morning Glory; 11-08-2002 at 12:34 PM.