Hangin' in and searching,
You are not on the wrong track and I didn't intend my post to be about going or not going. I may very well go. I haven't made up my mind.
My issue is the manipulation and how sad and confused I felt after I hung up the phone. One moment he was in a great mood and telling me how he is leading meetings now, but the moment I hesitate he turns it on and I don't want to participate in that. I don't want to be sad and confused everytime I speak with him. In fact I don't want ANYONE to leave me sad and confused ever again.
Stating my boundary and following through on it is about me. It is not about punishing him in any way. To be honest, I have felt anxiety whenever I talk to him because he always puts me on the spot ( uh...I allow myself to be out on the spot). If I go I will be putting myself in the same position that I was in last night on the phone. He continually puts me in a place where I am forced to say "no" and we all know how heart wrenching that is. Why do I want to do that to myself?
He is not the same "child" that moved out of my house 7 years ago. We have a very strained relationship at best. He holds us responsible for his situation and is quite vocal about it . I continue to show my support in spite of him if that makes any sense.
I stand by being honest with him in this situation. Perhaps our relationship will improve as a result of it.
If I don't go it will because of two things. A 6 hour round trip drive and we don't have the GS this weekend, and that is what he wants most right now...to see his son.
God, can you tell I am working on something? A bit wordy aren't I???
Hugs,
Last edited by JT; 11-08-2002 at 12:03 PM.